Are you feeling pressed for time? Just don’t have the energy to remember prayer? Download the new Auto-Pray (TM) app today!
You’ll spend about ten minutes in initial setup. Using handy check-the-box options, indicate your prayer preferences, such as the standard package (1 morning, 3 meals, 1 evening) or any of a number of custom packages. You can go with the basic prayer (“we thank Thee for this day,” “we thank Thee for this food”) or add options of your choice. Want to thank God for the missionaries during morning prayer, and the Prophet during evening prayer? It’s as simple as check-the-box!
You can build your own linguistic nuances right in, too! Want to make sure to include important terms like “moisture”? We’ve got that option! Want to add lots of extraneous Thees and Thous, passive-voice construction, and archaic verbs? We doth haveth that one, too! You can even customize your prayer to be in Yoda form (“these blessings, we thank Thee for”) or even Pirate talk (“Arr, ye have our thanks”).
Once you’ve personalized Auto-Pray to suit your needs, just press the “Pray now” button on your phone, and the prayer of your choice will be delivered at the same speed that people give bank disclosures on the radio (plus auto-compression of long words) allowing even the longest prayers to be recited in less than five seconds. It’s Enos-level blessings with Laman-level effort — and easier than mumbling “bless that everyone travel home safely.”
Download it today!
(And stay tuned for Auto-Testimony, coming soon!)